How do we choose a family mediator?

Mediators are not licensed, so check credentials

Ontario does not license or regulate family mediators. Anyone can use the title. What exists instead is a set of minimum qualifications for mediators in the court-connected service, and voluntary accreditation through professional bodies such as the Ontario Association for Family Mediation, Family Mediation Canada, the ADR Institute of Ontario and the Family Dispute Resolution Institute of Ontario. Membership in one of these means the mediator has met that body's training and practice standards and is subject to its complaints process; it is not a government endorsement.

Mediators come from law, social work, psychology and other fields. A lawyer-mediator is usually stronger on property; a social-work mediator on parenting. Ask what they do and how many family cases they have taken to agreement.

What the ministry requires of court-connected mediators

Mediators who provide court-connected services must meet published minimums: 60 hours of family mediation training, 21 hours of intimate partner violence education including screening, and either accreditation by one of the recognised bodies or a combination of degree, years of practice and supervised cases. Those standards are a useful benchmark for a private mediator too. If a private mediator cannot describe training that matches them, ask why.

Both spouses have to agree on the mediator. If one of you proposes a name, the other is entitled to check credentials, ask for references from lawyers who have received the mediator's memoranda, and say no. A mediator who is chosen by only one side starts with a trust problem.

Screening for family violence and power imbalance

Before any joint session, a competent mediator meets each of you separately for intake and screening. The purpose is to find out whether the two of you can negotiate on roughly equal footing, and whether either of you is unsafe. The Divorce Act's definition of family violence includes threats, harassment, coercive and controlling behaviour and financial abuse, and good screening looks for all of them, not just physical harm.

Screening is not a one-time form. Ontario's guidance says it continues throughout the process. For family arbitration the regulation goes further and requires the arbitrator to confirm in writing that the parties were separately screened for power imbalances and domestic violence. Ask a mediator how they screen, what they do with the result, and whether they offer shuttle mediation.

Open or closed mediation

You decide at the start whether the mediation is open or closed, and it is closed unless you both agree otherwise. In closed mediation, what is said and shared stays in the room; if you end up in court, the mediator reports only whether you agreed, not what was discussed. Section 3 of the Family Law Act reflects this: with a limited report, nothing said in mediation is admissible without everyone's consent.

In open mediation the mediator may report to the court on what happened, including who was reasonable and who was not. Some people choose it for parenting disputes so the mediator's observations are not lost. Most family mediation in Ontario is closed, and there are limited exceptions either way, for example a child protection concern.

Cost, and who pays

Private mediators charge hourly or flat rates and usually split the cost equally, though a different split can be agreed where incomes differ. If a court appoints a mediator under section 3 of the Family Law Act, the court sets the proportions each party pays, and can require one party to pay all of it where the other would suffer serious financial hardship.

Court-connected mediation is free on-site on your court date and offered off-site on a sliding scale based on income and number of dependents. Ask any mediator whether their fee covers preparation, correspondence and drafting the memorandum, not only session time, and what happens to an unused retainer if mediation ends early.