- The old will governs, regardless of your intentions A will is a formal legal document.
- If your circumstances have changed, Ontario law gives you a few ways to reflect that — each with different levels of formality: - [ ] A codicil — a separate document that amends specific…
- Don't rely on memory or verbal intentions.
Reconciliation is meaningful — but it doesn't rewrite paperwork on its own. If you made a will during a period of estrangement from a child and left them out, and you later reconciled, your existing will remains fully legally valid exactly as written until you take a formal step to change it. Ontario law doesn't treat a reconciled relationship as an automatic amendment to a document you signed years earlier.
This gap between what a family feels and what a will actually says is one of the more painful, and avoidable, problems in estate administration. Here's what happens if it's left unaddressed, and what it takes to fix it.
What Actually Happens If You Never Update the Will
1. The old will governs, regardless of your intentions
A will is a formal legal document. It stays in effect as written until it is validly revoked or replaced — not until your relationships change. If your will still excludes a now-reconciled child, and you die without updating it, that child generally receives nothing under its terms, whatever your actual wishes had become.
2. Your family may not know your true intentions
Unlike a conversation, a will doesn't update itself to reflect a reconciliation that happened after signing. If you never told anyone your intentions had changed, or never documented it anywhere, your executor and beneficiaries may have no way to know your wishes shifted — they can only act on the document that exists.
3. A dispute becomes more likely, not less
Ontario courts do have a statutory power to validate a document that doesn't meet the strict formal signing requirements for a will, where the court is satisfied it reflects the deceased's genuine testamentary intentions. But relying on that power is a court process, not a guarantee — it requires litigation, costs money, takes time, and produces an uncertain outcome. It is not a substitute for simply updating your will while you're able to.
4. An excluded, reconciled child may still have other legal avenues
Depending on the circumstances, a reconciled child left out of an outdated will might explore a dependant's support claim or other legal routes — but these are separate, fact-specific processes with their own tests and limitation periods, not a straightforward fix for what a properly updated will would have addressed directly.
Your Options for Formally Updating a Will
If your circumstances have changed, Ontario law gives you a few ways to reflect that — each with different levels of formality:
- [ ] A codicil — a separate document that amends specific provisions of an existing will. A codicil must meet the same signing and witnessing formalities as a will itself. It works best for a small, targeted change.
- [ ] A new will — drafted to replace the old one entirely, including a clause revoking prior wills. This is usually the more reliable option when the change is significant, such as adding back a previously excluded beneficiary.
- [ ] A letter of wishes — not a legally binding document, but a way to record context and intentions alongside your will. It can help explain your thinking, but it does not, on its own, change who inherits what.
Codicil or new will — which fits your situation?
| Codicil | New will | |
|---|---|---|
| Best for | One or two discrete changes to an otherwise current will | Significant changes, or a will that's out of date in multiple ways |
| Formality required | Same signing/witnessing rules as a will | Same signing/witnessing rules as a will |
| Risk of confusion later | Higher if multiple codicils accumulate over time | Lower — one clear, current document |
| Typical cost/effort | Often lower for a single simple change | Reflects the scope of a full will |
Practical Steps If You've Reconciled With a Child
- Don't rely on memory or verbal intentions. Tell your executor and family your wishes have changed only helps if the will itself is also updated — verbal intentions don't override a signed document.
- Review the whole will, not just the one clause. Estrangement-era wills often also name an outdated executor, alternate beneficiaries, or guardianship provisions that may no longer reflect your wishes either.
- Get the update properly signed and witnessed. A handwritten note added to an old will, without meeting the formal requirements, creates exactly the kind of ambiguity that can end up in court.
- Consider a letter of wishes alongside the formal update, if you want to explain your reasoning — but treat it as a supplement, not a replacement, for the legally binding document.
Frequently asked questions
If my child and I reconcile, does my old will automatically become invalid?
No. A will remains valid and in effect exactly as written until it's properly revoked or replaced — reconciliation, on its own, has no automatic legal effect on the document.
Can I just cross out the old clause and write in the new one?
This is risky and generally not advisable. An informal handwritten alteration may not meet Ontario's formal signing and witnessing requirements, which can leave real doubt about whether the change is valid — exactly the kind of ambiguity a proper codicil or new will avoids.
What if I die in the middle of reconciling, before updating my will?
Ontario courts have a statutory power to validate a document that doesn't meet strict formalities if there's clear evidence it reflects the deceased's genuine intentions — but that requires a court application, with no guaranteed outcome. It is not a reliable substitute for updating your will while you can.
Does a letter of wishes count as an update to my will?
No. A letter of wishes can provide context and explain your reasoning, but it is generally not a legally binding document in the way a properly executed will or codicil is. It doesn't change who inherits under the will's actual terms.
This is a wills & estates question
Start a file online — flat, published fees, reviewed by a licensed Ontario lawyer before a dollar is owed.