- A right of first refusal (often shortened to ROFR) is a provision in a parenting plan or order that requires a parent who needs childcare during their own scheduled parenting time to…
- A parent realizes they'll be unavailable to care for the child during their own parenting time — work, travel, illness, or something else.
- There's no single standard version of this clause — parenting plans vary widely, and what counts as a "triggering" absence is a drafting choice, not a fixed rule.
You have a parenting schedule that works — until one of you gets called into work late, or has to travel, or simply needs a few hours of childcare during your own parenting time. Do you have to call a babysitter, or does the other parent get first crack at that time with the kids? A right of first refusal clause answers that question in advance, and it's one of the more practical (and more debated) additions to an Ontario parenting plan.
Here's what the clause actually requires, how it's typically drafted, and how to decide whether it belongs in your own arrangement.
What a Right of First Refusal Clause Does
A right of first refusal (often shortened to ROFR) is a provision in a parenting plan or order that requires a parent who needs childcare during their own scheduled parenting time to offer that time to the other parent first, before arranging care through a babysitter, relative, or anyone else. It isn't a standalone legal doctrine — it's a negotiated term, and its exact scope depends entirely on how it's written into your plan or order.
How It Typically Works in Practice
- A triggering absence comes up. A parent realizes they'll be unavailable to care for the child during their own parenting time — work, travel, illness, or something else.
- The other parent is notified. The plan usually specifies how much notice is required and how it must be given (a call, a text, a co-parenting app).
- The other parent has a window to respond. If they accept, the child spends that time with them instead of a third-party caregiver. If they decline or don't respond within the window, the first parent is free to arrange other care.
- The original schedule otherwise continues. A ROFR clause shifts who cares for the child during a gap — it doesn't change the underlying parenting time allocation itself.
Common Ways ROFR Clauses Are Written
There's no single standard version of this clause — parenting plans vary widely, and what counts as a "triggering" absence is a drafting choice, not a fixed rule. Some plans set the bar low (any absence of a few hours), others reserve it for longer gaps like an overnight or more; some apply it to both parents equally, others only to one. Because the details are negotiated rather than dictated by legislation, it's worth thinking through your own family's routine — work schedules, extended family involvement, and how often gaps actually come up — before settling on wording.
Weighing Whether to Include One
| Reasons to include it | Reasons to think twice |
|---|---|
| Maximizes the child's time with a parent instead of a third-party caregiver | Can create friction if notice requirements aren't followed |
| Gives both parents more parenting time overall | May be impractical with unpredictable or last-minute schedules |
| Reduces reliance on paid childcare during a parent's own time | Can be used, in bad faith, to monitor or micromanage the other parent's schedule |
| Formalizes an arrangement many co-parenting families do informally anyway | Adds another term that has to be tracked and, if ignored, potentially enforced |
Questions to Ask Before Including a ROFR Clause
- [ ] How often does either of us realistically need backup childcare during our own time?
- [ ] Do we already rely on grandparents or other regular caregivers we'd want excluded from triggering the clause?
- [ ] How much notice is realistic given our work schedules?
- [ ] Are we both comfortable with the same threshold, or does one of us need a different standard?
- [ ] How will we handle a disagreement about whether the clause was triggered?
What Happens If a Parent Ignores the Clause
Once a right of first refusal is written into a parenting plan that's incorporated into a court order — or into a separation agreement — it's enforceable the same way any other term of that order or agreement is. Repeated disregard for it is something your lawyer can raise, whether informally with the other parent's lawyer or, if it becomes a pattern, as part of a broader request to the court to address the parenting arrangement.
Frequently asked questions
Is a right of first refusal automatically part of an Ontario parenting plan?
No. It's an optional term that has to be specifically negotiated and written in — it isn't implied by default in a parenting order or separation agreement.
What happens if I don't respond to a right-of-first-refusal notice in time?
That depends entirely on how your specific clause is worded. Most well-drafted clauses specify what happens if there's no response within the notice window, which is exactly why the wording matters more than the general concept.
Does the clause apply to short outings, or only longer absences?
Whatever threshold you and the other parent agree to and write into the plan. There's no standard length that applies by default — it's worth being explicit about what counts as a triggering absence.
Can grandparents or regular caregivers be excluded from triggering the clause?
Yes, and many families do exactly that — carving out a family member or established caregiver so ordinary, expected childcare doesn't trigger a notice obligation each time.
This is a family law question
Start a file online — flat, published fees, reviewed by a licensed Ontario lawyer before a dollar is owed.