Parenting Arrangements Right After Separation in Ontario

When two parents split up, the first questions are usually practical. Where will the children sleep this week? Who does school pickup? What happens on weekends? Most families sort this out in conversation long before any lawyer or judge is involved, and that is often the best starting point.

This article explains how informal arrangements work, how to put them in writing, what a court looks at, and when it makes sense to ask for an order. It is general information and not advice on your family's situation. If there are safety concerns, speak with a lawyer promptly.

What a parenting arrangement covers

Ontario describes parenting arrangements as covering where the children live, the time each parent spends with them, and who makes major decisions. A good plan deals with all three, not just the weekly schedule.

• Where the children mainly live and how time is divided.
• Holidays, birthdays, school breaks and special days.
• Who decides on major issues such as health care and education.
• How handovers happen and who is responsible for transportation.
• How you will communicate with each other and with the children.

There is no one right schedule. Justice Canada notes that the Divorce Act has no presumption of equal parenting time. The question is what works for your children given their ages, needs, routines and each parent's circumstances.

Starting with an informal arrangement

Many parents begin with a simple, informal plan, and that can be a sensible way to keep things calm while everyone adjusts. Parents can build a plan through negotiation, collaborative family law, mediation or arbitration, and Justice Canada offers a Parenting Plan Tool to help.

If you are married and a divorce case is under way, the Divorce Act also sets out duties for parties. These include acting in the child's best interests, protecting children from conflict, trying family dispute resolution where appropriate, and complying with orders. Even before any case, those ideas are a useful guide for how to behave.

Whatever you agree, keep the children out of the middle. Ontario's information for families includes Kids Help Phone, which is available 24 hours a day, and Family Law Information Centres, which give information but not legal advice.

Putting the plan in writing

Ontario warns that informal plans can be hard to enforce. If one parent changes the routine or stops following the plan, there may be little you can do without something more formal. A written plan reduces misunderstandings, even if it is not yet a legal document.

A parenting plan can be an informal agreement, part of a separation agreement or a court order. If you want it in a separation agreement, each of you should have your own lawyer look it over before you sign. A written agreement is a separation agreement if no court case has started, and minutes of settlement if one has. A mediator does not replace a lawyer, and Ontario advises getting advice from different lawyers before signing a mediated agreement.

When to ask for a court order

Where parents cannot agree, a court makes an order in the children's best interests and must consider any family violence. Under the Divorce Act, the court considers only the best interests of the child, with primary consideration to the child's physical, emotional and psychological safety, security and well-being.

You may want to look at an order sooner rather than later if:

• The other parent refuses to follow the plan or keeps changing it.
• You are worried about the children's safety. Supervised parenting time can be arranged where there are safety concerns, and Supervised Access Centres offer a neutral setting for visits and exchanges.
• There is a risk a child will be kept from you or moved without agreement.
• You cannot reach any agreement through discussion or mediation.

Starting a case does not mean you will end up at trial. Ontario describes the steps in most family cases as the Mandatory Information Program, a first appearance in some courts, a case conference, a settlement conference, and then trial scheduling and trial management conferences. In most circumstances both parties must attend a free Mandatory Information Program, and each receives a separate notice and a different session.

A case begins with Form 8 (General Application) where parents disagree. The other parent responds with Form 10 (Answer) within 30 days, or 60 days if served outside Canada and the U.S.. If you are married and only want a divorce, a different form applies, and the Divorce Act applies only to married spouses. Unmarried parents proceed under other laws, so a lawyer can confirm which rules apply to you.

What to do next

• Write down the schedule you are following now, including handovers and holidays.
• Keep a simple record of when the children are with each parent.
• Talk to the other parent calmly, or consider mediation, which is voluntary and confidential unless both parties agree otherwise.
• Contact a Family Law Information Centre for free information; staff do not give legal advice, and duty counsel can explain the law but cannot represent you.
• Get legal advice before signing anything, and before moving the children's home or school.
• If safety is a concern, speak with a lawyer right away about your options.

Money questions often come up alongside parenting. Child support is based on the number of children, the province where the payor lives and the payor's annual income, and new federal tables apply to all Ontario child support matters starting October 1, 2025. It is a separate issue from the schedule, and a lawyer can explain how the two fit together.

Frequently asked questions