Parenting Agreements in Ontario: What to Include and How They Work

When parents separate, many want to settle the schedule and the big decisions themselves, in writing, without a trial. A parenting agreement (sometimes called a parenting plan) is how most families do that.

This article explains what a parenting agreement usually covers, how it operates outside court, and what you can do to make it stronger. It is general information, not advice on your situation.

What a parenting agreement does without a court

A parenting plan can set out when each parent spends time with the children and who makes major decisions. You and the other parent can reach it yourselves, with lawyers, or through mediation or another family dispute resolution process.

The catch is enforcement. Informal plans can be hard to enforce. If the agreement is a separation agreement, you can ask the court to enforce the parenting arrangement in it. The table below compares the usual levels of formality.

Failing to follow an order without good reason can bring a fine or jail.

What to include in a parenting agreement

Justice Canada's parenting plan checklist is a useful outline. It covers the following topics:

• Communication between parents and with the children
• Safety
• The parenting time schedule, transportation and changes to the schedule
• Childcare and siblings
• Grandparents and extended family
• Holidays, vacations and special days
• Travel notice
• School choice and extra-curricular activities
• Religion and culture
• Health care and special needs
• Relocation
• New partners and long work absences
• Mental health or substance use
• Dispute resolution and how to make changes to the plan

Not every family needs every item, but going through the list helps you spot problems before they happen. A plan with a clear schedule and a clear way to make changes tends to leave fewer gaps to argue about.

Schedules, decisions and day-to-day life

Parenting time can be allocated by a schedule, and a parent has exclusive authority to make day-to-day decisions affecting the child during their parenting time. Your agreement can say which decisions are day-to-day and which are major ones that you will make together or that one parent will make.

When setting the schedule, think about practical details like who drives, where exchanges happen and what happens when plans change. Justice Canada also notes that shared time works best when parents live close to one another. For vacations outside the province or country, address passports and travel consent letters.

Children's needs change as they grow, and their views get more weight as they get older. Many parents build in a review point or a process for adjusting the plan, which is one of the checklist items.

Making the agreement hold up

You do not need a lawyer to make a separation agreement, but you should get advice before signing because it can be difficult to get a court to set one aside. An agreement is binding if you understand its terms and consequences, both of you gave complete and honest financial information, and neither of you was pressured to sign. If you used a mediator, each person should get advice from a different lawyer before signing to make a mediated agreement legally binding.

Even a signed agreement is not the last word on the children. If parties submit a parenting plan, the court must include it in the parenting order unless it is not in the child's best interests, in which case the court may modify it first. In making a parenting order, the court considers only the best interests of the child, with primary consideration to the child's physical, emotional and psychological safety, security and well-being.

• Is the schedule specific enough that a stranger could follow it?
• Does it say who makes major decisions and how you will resolve disagreements?
• Does it cover holidays, travel and relocation?
• Have you both shared complete and honest financial information, where money terms are included?
• Has each of you had legal advice before signing?

Changing the agreement later

Before varying a parenting or contact order, the court must be satisfied that there has been a change in the circumstances of the child since the order was made. If you both agree to change a final order or filed agreement, the Ontario guide uses a Consent Motion to Change (Form 15C), signed and dated by both parties in front of witnesses, with Form 14B, a draft Form 25 order, and the existing order or filed agreement. Each party must also file a commissioned Form 35.1 for changes to decision-making, parenting time or contact.

If the judge grants the orders, the signed order is sent by email or in the self-addressed envelopes. If not, you receive an endorsement explaining the reasons and any next steps.

What to do next

• Write down the topics from the checklist that matter to your family and note where you and the other parent already agree.
• Consider mediation to work through the gaps. Ontario offers free on-site courthouse mediation on the day of court and low-cost off-site mediation on a sliding fee scale.
• Have a family lawyer review the draft before you sign. The Law Society Referral Service can provide a family lawyer for an initial consultation of up to 30 minutes, and limited-scope services and Legal Aid Ontario may also help.
• Decide whether you want the agreement filed or turned into a consent order so it is easier to enforce.

If there is family violence or a safety concern, tell your lawyer or mediator early, because the court must consider family violence and its impact.

Frequently asked questions