Holiday and Christmas Parenting Schedules in Ontario

Christmas, winter break, March break and birthdays tend to be the hardest dates for separated parents. Both parents want time with the child, and the regular weekly schedule rarely fits the holidays.

No law gives a fixed holiday formula. This article explains the options parents commonly use, what the law says about agreements and orders, and how to get a plan in writing.

Why holidays need their own plan

Justice Canada's guide suggests a parenting plan cover a parenting schedule including holidays, as well as transportation, especially if parents live far apart, and vacations outside the province or country. The guide also notes that a schedule suited to a teenager is unlikely to suit an infant or toddler. A holiday plan that works for a school-aged child may need to change as your child grows.

If you have no order, parents generally have an equal right to decision-making responsibility. If parents live apart and the child lives with one of them with the other's consent, implied consent or acquiescence, the other parent's right to exercise decision-making is suspended until an agreement or order says otherwise, but parenting time is not suspended. Holiday time is part of parenting time, so a written plan helps avoid disputes.

Common ways to divide holidays

These are common approaches, not legal rules. Many families combine them.

• Alternating years: one parent has Christmas Eve and morning in one year, and the other parent has it the next year.
• Dividing the day: the child spends part of the holiday with each parent, with a set handover time.
• Fixed holidays: each parent keeps a particular holiday every year, such as a holiday that matters to one side of the family.
• Dividing a long break: the school break is split between households, with exchange dates written down.
• Special days: birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day and religious or cultural celebrations are named in the plan and take priority over the regular schedule.

Religion, culture and language are part of what the law calls decision-making responsibility. If a holiday has religious or cultural meaning, the plan can say who decides about it and how the child will take part.

What a court considers

If parents cannot agree and go to court, the court's primary consideration is the child's physical, emotional and psychological safety, security and well-being. The court also looks at a list of best-interests factors, including the child's needs given age and stage of development, the history of care, each parent's willingness to support the child's relationship with the other, and the child's views and preferences. The list is not exhaustive, so a court may consider other factors, always giving priority to safety.

A child should have as much time with each parent as is consistent with the child's best interests. The right amount depends on the individual child's circumstances and is subject to the child's safety. Where possible, the court takes the child's views and preferences into account to the extent the child can express them.

Holiday time is also affected by day-to-day authority. The person with parenting time has exclusive authority over day-to-day decisions during that time, unless the court orders otherwise. If a parent is far away, an order can set rules for communication such as calls or video during the other parent's parenting time.

Putting your holiday plan in writing

Separated cohabitants may agree in a separation agreement on decision-making responsibility and parenting time for their children. A domestic contract, such as a separation agreement, is unenforceable unless it is in writing, signed by the parties and witnessed.

Agreements on parenting time are not the final word. A court may disregard any provision on decision-making responsibility or parenting time if that is in the child's best interests. When a court makes a parenting order, it must include a written parenting plan the parties have agreed on, though it may change the plan if that is in the child's best interests. Justice Canada says a plan included in a Divorce Act order is legally binding, and advises each parent to show the draft plan to their own legal adviser before signing.

Parties must protect the child from conflict arising from the case as far as they are able and, where appropriate, try to resolve matters through a family dispute resolution process.

What to do next

• List the dates that matter to your family: Christmas, winter break, March break, summer, birthdays and religious or cultural days.
• Decide whether you want alternating years, split days or fixed holidays, and write down start and end times.
• Plan transportation and who handles exchanges, especially if you live far apart.
• Add rules for calls or video when the child is with the other parent.
• Include a way to settle disagreements, such as mediation, before going to court.
• Have a lawyer review the draft before you sign.

If there are safety concerns, speak with a lawyer. Family violence is considered by the court and need not be a criminal offence.

Frequently asked questions