Kinship Care vs Adoption for Grandparents in Ontario

Many grandparents end up raising a grandchild when a parent cannot. The question then becomes how formal the arrangement should be: informal care, a court order giving you parenting authority, or adoption.

Each option has different legal effects on the child, the parents and you. This article compares them in plain terms so you can decide what to ask a lawyer about.

Three options at a glance

Which one fits depends on how long the child will be with you, whether the parents agree, and what you want the legal relationship to be.

Caring without a court order

If you are caring for a child who is temporarily in your care and you have no legal obligation to support the child, you may be able to get Temporary Care Assistance through Ontario Works: up to $274 a month for the first child and $224 for each additional child. Your own finances are not assessed, and the child's asset limit is $500.

This help is not available if you are paid for the care under the Child, Youth and Family Services Act, 2017, or if you have a legal obligation to support the child, such as an adoptive parent or someone who has shown a settled intention to treat the child as their own. Where a section 116 legal custody order applies, the child is generally not eligible. Benefit amounts can change, so confirm them with Ontario Works.

A parenting order for a grandparent

A person who is not a parent, including a grandparent, relative or family friend, may apply to court for a parenting order on decision-making responsibility, or for a contact order. The application must include an affidavit setting out your proposed plan for the child and any involvement in family or criminal proceedings.

If you seek decision-making responsibility, you must file a recent police records check and request a report from each relevant children's aid society, which must respond within 30 days. The court decides only on the child's best interests, giving primary consideration to the child's physical, emotional and psychological safety, security and well-being. It also weighs factors such as relationships with grandparents and others, the child's views, heritage, and family violence.

Adopting your grandchild

The court may make a family adoption order on the application of the child's relative, the child's parent, or a parent's spouse. These adoptions are made directly through the Ontario court, with no adoption licensee needed, and an adoption practitioner does not have to assess you unless the judge requires it. Placement of a child with a relative is exempt from the usual placement restrictions as long as the child lives in Canada and the placement is within Ontario.

Some requirements to expect:

• You must be an Ontario resident, and so must the child.
• The written consent of every parent is required for a child under 16, though the court may dispense with a consent if a parent refuses or cannot be found and that is in the child's best interests, after notice or a reasonable effort to give it.
• A child aged seven or older must give their own written consent after a chance to get counselling and independent legal advice, although the court may dispense with that consent if getting it would cause the child emotional harm or a developmental disability makes the child unable to consent.
• If you are married, your spouse's written consent is needed when you apply.

The Director's statement and six-month residence rule apply to a family adoption only if the child did not live in Canada before placement, though the court may order that they apply if the child did live in Canada. If the grandchild lives outside Canada, the international adoption process applies instead.

Comparing the effects, and next steps

On the date of an adoption order, the child becomes the child of the adoptive parent and each former parent stops being a parent, except that a former parent who is the spouse of the adoptive parent keeps their status as a parent. The order is final and irrevocable, subject only to appeals. After adoption, no court may make an order for access to the child by a birth parent or a member of a birth parent's family. An openness agreement can still be made before or after the order, but failing to follow it does not affect the adoption's validity.

Because that is a permanent change for your own child, your grandchild's parent and the wider family, many grandparents first consider whether a parenting order meets their needs. Court rules and forms for family adoptions can change, so it is worth confirming the current requirements with a lawyer.

• Write down how long the child has lived with you and who has been making decisions.
• Gather the child's birth registration and any existing court orders.
• Talk with the child's parents about their views, since consent is central to adoption.
• Check whether Temporary Care Assistance applies to your situation.
• Book a conversation with a family lawyer before filing, to compare a parenting order with adoption.

Frequently asked questions