When a Child Refuses to Go for Parenting Time in Ontario

Your parenting order or plan says the child goes to the other parent this weekend. Your child says no — flatly, sometimes tearfully, sometimes with reasons that are hard to evaluate on the spot. As the parent with the child in that moment, you're stuck between a legal obligation and a child who won't cooperate.

There's no single rule that resolves this cleanly, because the right response depends heavily on the child's age, the reasons behind the refusal, and whether this is a one-off or a pattern. What follows is a general framework for thinking it through.

Handled the wrong way, a child's refusal can also become a flashpoint in the parents' own dispute — so it's worth being deliberate about both the practical and legal sides.

There's No Fixed Age Where a Child "Decides"

Ontario law does not set one age at which a child's preference automatically controls the parenting schedule. Instead, a child's views and preferences are one of the non-exhaustive factors a court weighs under the best-interests-of-the-child test, alongside everything else relevant to that child's safety, security, and well-being. Generally speaking, the older and more mature a child is, the more weight their expressed views tend to receive — but that's a matter of degree, not a bright line.

What the Receiving Parent's Obligations Look Like

• The parent with the child at the time generally has an obligation to encourage and support the parenting time actually happening, rather than simply accepting the refusal at face value
• This doesn't mean physically forcing an older, resistant child to go — that's rarely productive and can create its own problems
• It does mean taking reasonable, good-faith steps: talking with the child calmly, addressing legitimate concerns, not suggesting or reinforcing the refusal, and communicating promptly with the other parent about what's happening

Distinguishing the Reasons Behind a Refusal

Not all refusals are the same, and the right response can differ significantly depending on the underlying cause:

• Ordinary resistance — a teenager who'd rather be with friends, a younger child upset about a schedule change — usually calls for calm, consistent encouragement rather than escalation.
• A specific, articulated concern — the child describes conflict, discomfort, or an incident at the other parent's home — deserves to be taken seriously and, where appropriate, addressed directly with the other parent or through professional support.
• A pattern consistent with family violence or safety concerns — this is treated far more seriously in the legal framework, since family violence and its impact on a child is an express factor courts must consider.

When the Refusal Becomes an Ongoing Problem

If a child's refusal is persistent rather than occasional, unilaterally deciding to stop facilitating parenting time is risky — it can be viewed unfavourably if the matter ends up before a court, since a parent's willingness to support the child's relationship with the other parent is itself relevant to a best-interests analysis. Instead, consider:

• Raising the pattern directly and in writing with the other parent
• Family counselling or reunification-focused support, where appropriate to the situation
• Involving a neutral professional process — such as a lawyer for the child or a views-of-the-child report — so the child's perspective is captured in a structured way rather than filtered entirely through one parent
• A motion to change if the existing schedule genuinely no longer reflects what's workable for the child

What a Court Considers

If the issue reaches a judge, the focus stays on the child's best interests — not on which parent's account is more sympathetic. A court will typically want to understand why the refusal is happening, how each parent has responded to it, and whether the current arrangement still serves the child, rather than simply enforcing the existing schedule regardless of circumstances.

Frequently asked questions