How Do We Tell Our Children About Separation and Set Parenting Schedules in Ontario?

You and the other parent can usually set parenting arrangements yourselves, and court is needed mainly when you cannot agree. Parents decide the arrangements, and children are not expected to choose between their parents. If parents cannot agree on decision-making responsibility or parenting time, a judge decides based on the children's best interests.

When you talk with your children, tell them the separation does not mean anything is wrong with them, and keep them out of discussions about money. Under the Divorce Act, parties must, as far as they are able, protect children from conflict arising from the proceeding.

Under the Divorce Act, parenting time should give the child as much time with each spouse as is consistent with the child's best interests, and it may be set out in a schedule. Under the Divorce Act, past conduct is left out of the best-interests analysis unless it is relevant to a person's ability to parent, but the court must consider family violence and its impact. Mediation can help if you are stuck: free mediation is available at the courthouse on the day of a scheduled court appearance, while off-site family mediation is charged on a sliding scale.