Can I insist on keeping a deposit even if I'm the one who ends up backing out?

Generally, no. Deposit forfeiture or retention terms are typically tied to the other side's default, not your own — a deposit clause is usually written so that walking away without cause on your part triggers a return obligation, not an entitlement to keep it. Insisting on keeping a deposit specifically because you decided not to proceed usually runs directly against how these clauses are normally structured, and against what the other side actually agreed to when they put the money down.

The only way this would work is if your specific agreement expressly gives you that right in exactly this circumstance — language stating you may retain the deposit even if you're the one who withdraws. This is an unusual term for the other side to accept, since it removes their protection precisely when they'd want it most, so it's not something to assume exists just because you'd prefer it did.

If you're considering backing out and want to know whether you're actually entitled to keep the deposit, that answer lives entirely in the specific wording you both signed. A Treadstone business lawyer can tell you plainly whether your document supports that position or whether insisting on it would itself invite a claim.