Separation in Ontario: What to Do First When a Relationship Ends

Deciding to separate can feel like a hundred decisions at once. It helps to sort them into four groups: where everyone will live, how the children will be looked after, how money and debts will be handled, and what paperwork and dates matter.

This article gives you a practical first-steps list for Ontario. The rules differ for married spouses and unmarried partners, so pay attention to which group you are in. A lawyer can confirm how the rules apply to your situation.

Housing: who stays and who goes

Before anyone moves out, understand the rules about the family home. A matrimonial home is any property in which a spouse has an interest and that the spouses ordinarily occupied as their family residence. Both married spouses have an equal right to possession of it, whoever holds title.

Neither spouse may sell or mortgage an interest in the matrimonial home unless the other joins in or consents, has released their rights in a separation agreement, or a court order authorizes it. If you cannot agree on who stays, a court may order that one spouse have exclusive possession for a period it directs.

If you rent, check who is on the lease. Tenants who share one tenancy agreement are each liable for the entire rent, so the landlord can pursue any one of them for the full amount. If you are not married, the home possession rules in Part II of the Family Law Act do not apply to you, so speak to a lawyer about your options.

Children: keep things steady

Parents are equally entitled to decision-making responsibility for their child. If parents live apart and the child lives with one parent with the other's consent, implied consent or acquiescence, the other parent's decision-making right is suspended until a separation agreement or order provides otherwise, but parenting time is not suspended.

Courts give primary consideration to a child's physical, emotional and psychological safety, security and well-being, and the history of care is one factor. That means moving out and leaving day-to-day care with the other parent can become part of that history. A court must also give effect to the principle that a child should have as much time with each parent as is consistent with the child's best interests.

Money, debts and benefits

For married spouses, property is generally divided through equalization. The spouse with the smaller net family property is entitled to one-half of the difference between the two. Net family property is the value of what a spouse owns on the valuation date, minus debts and other liabilities.

Be careful with joint accounts and cards. Co-borrowers on a joint credit card are equally responsible for the whole balance, while an additional cardholder is not responsible for repaying it. Do not sell or run down property in a way that could be challenged: a court may make a preservation order restraining the depletion of property.

Tell the Canada Revenue Agency about the change. The CRA says to report a separation only after you have been separated for more than 90 days because of a breakdown in the relationship, and the effective date is the day you started living apart. A marital status change must be reported by the end of the month after the month the status changed.

Paperwork and dates that matter

• Valuation date: the date you separate with no reasonable prospect of living together again is the first of several dates used to value family property.
• Deadline: an equalization application cannot be brought after the earliest of two years after a divorce, six years after separation, or six months after the first spouse's death.
• Divorce: breakdown is generally established by living separate and apart for at least one year.
• Separation agreement: it is unenforceable unless it is in writing, signed and witnessed.
• Life insurance: Ontario law does not automatically cancel an ex-spouse's beneficiary designation on separation.
• Wills: where spouses were separated at death within the legal meaning, gifts to the spouse in a will are revoked, but only if the separation event occurred on or after January 1, 2022.

A court may extend a time limit in the Family Law Act in some cases, but it is not something to count on.

What to do next

• Write down the date you separated and keep records of it.
• Gather statements for bank accounts, debts, pensions, and the home or lease.
• Do not sell, mortgage or give away major property without advice.
• Set up a steady plan for the children's care.
• Check your insurance beneficiaries and your will, and your plan booklet for any benefits coverage.
• Update your marital status with the CRA when the time comes.

Ontario's Family Law Information Centres give free information about separation and divorce, and have duty counsel provided by Legal Aid Ontario. If a family court case is started, each party must attend a Mandatory Information Program session no later than 45 days after the case is started, unless an exception applies. A lawyer can explain your own deadlines and options.

Frequently asked questions