Separation Mediation in Ontario: What to Expect at Each Session

If you and your spouse are separating, mediation can look like a calmer route than court. You may be wondering what actually happens in the room, how many meetings it takes, and what you walk away with.

This article walks through the usual stages of separation mediation in Ontario, in the order you are likely to meet them. Exact timing and format depend on the mediator and the issues, so treat this as a general map rather than a promise.

What a mediator does and does not do

Ontario describes mediation as a negotiation between two people with help from a mediator. The mediator does not take sides, make decisions or give legal advice, and does not take the place of a lawyer.

That means you and your spouse stay in charge of the outcome. The mediator keeps the conversation organized and fair, but the decisions about parenting, support and property are yours to make together.

If you are divorcing, the federal Divorce Act says that, to the extent that it is appropriate, parties must try to resolve the matters through a family dispute resolution process. The Act defines this as a process outside court, such as negotiation, mediation and collaborative law. A legal adviser must encourage this unless the circumstances of the case make it clearly inappropriate, such as where there is family violence.

Intake and screening: the first step

Before any joint discussion, you will usually have an intake conversation. The mediator screens the parties at intake and throughout the process to make sure both are in an equal negotiating position.

Court-connected mediators must have 60 hours of family mediation training and 21 hours of intimate partner violence education or training, including screening for intimate partner violence. If safety or fear is a concern, say so at intake. Mediation may not suit every situation.

The sessions themselves

Sessions generally follow a pattern, though the order and number of meetings vary:

• Agreeing on ground rules and which topics you will cover, such as parenting, support and property.
• Sharing information. It is wise for each of you to put your finances on the table, because a court may set aside a domestic contract if a party failed to disclose significant assets.
• Exploring options for each topic and testing which ones work for both of you.
• Reaching agreement on some or all issues, which the mediator then writes up.

The mediator writes up what the parties agreed. Some couples settle everything; others settle some issues and leave the rest for lawyers or the court.

How long it takes and what it costs

There is no single timeline. It depends on how many issues you have, how quickly you exchange financial information, and how far apart you are at the start.

Court-connected on-site mediation is free on the day a party's matter is scheduled in court. Off-site mediation may carry user fees on a scale based on income and number of dependents. Private mediators set their own arrangements, so ask before you book.

After the agreement: making it hold

To make a mediated agreement legally binding, Ontario advises that each party get advice from a different lawyer before signing. A separation agreement is unenforceable unless it is in writing, signed by the parties and witnessed.

A court may set aside a domestic contract or a provision in it if a party failed to disclose significant assets or did not understand the nature or consequences of the contract. Full disclosure and independent advice protect both of you.

If the agreement includes support, a party may file it with the clerk of the Ontario Court of Justice or the Family Court so its support provisions can be enforced.

What to do next

Family Law Information Centres at family courts give free court forms and general information about procedure, along with information about mediation and referrals. Their staff give information, not legal advice. Low-income people may also get free legal advice at court from Legal Aid Ontario advice lawyers and duty counsel.

• Decide which issues you want to mediate and whether mediation feels safe for you.
• Gather income records, account statements, debts and property information.
• Ask any mediator about their training, process and how they screen.
• Book a lawyer to review the draft agreement before you sign.
• Keep copies of everything you sign.

Frequently asked questions