Separation in Ontario: What Happens Step by Step

When a relationship ends, the practical questions arrive all at once: where everyone will live, how the children will be looked after, who pays what, and what happens to the house. It helps to know that the legal process follows a rough order, even if real life does not.

This article walks through that order, from the first days to a settled agreement or a court order. It is general information for Ontario, not advice on your situation. Your facts, and whether you are married or common-law, can change the details.

Day one: what separation means legally

For spouses, separation is mainly about intention and living arrangements. Spouses are treated as separated for any period they lived apart and one of them intended to live apart. A short return to living together does not necessarily reset things: if it totals no more than 90 days and the main purpose was reconciliation, the separation is not interrupted.

Separation does not automatically decide anything else. Spousal support, for example, is not automatic on separation or divorce, so it must be raised. The same is true of most other issues: they are sorted out by agreement or by a court.

If you are married, both spouses have an equal right to possession of the matrimonial home regardless of who owns it. That matters if one of you is thinking of moving out or asking the other to leave, so get advice before making that move.

Step two: identify what needs to be decided

Most separations involve some mix of four topics. Listing which ones apply to you shows what an agreement or court order will need to cover.

If there are safety concerns, supervised parenting time can be arranged, and Supervised Access Centres offer a neutral setting for visits and exchanges. Where parents cannot agree, a court must consider any family violence.

Step three: try to settle by agreement

Many people settle some or all issues without a judge. Parents can build a parenting plan through negotiation, collaborative family law, mediation or arbitration. Mediation is voluntary and confidential unless both parties agree otherwise. A mediator does not replace a lawyer, and Ontario advises getting advice from different lawyers before signing a mediated agreement.

Family Law Information Centres give free information about separation, divorce and ways to resolve issues without court, but their staff do not give legal advice.

If you reach agreement, it is a separation agreement if no court case has started, and minutes of settlement if one has. A court may refuse to enforce a separation agreement if a party did not fully disclose financial information, which is why each party should get independent legal advice before signing. Ontario also says you cannot easily change a separation agreement later.

Step four: if you need court, what the process looks like

Ontario describes the steps in most family cases as: the Mandatory Information Program, a first appearance (at Family Court branches, except cases involving divorce, property or an arbitration award), a case conference, a settlement conference, then trial scheduling and trial management conferences.

• A case starts with Form 8 (General Application) where the parties disagree.
• The other person files Form 10 (Answer) within 30 days, or 60 days if served outside Canada and the U.S..
• A Reply (Form 10A) is due within 10 days of receiving the Answer.
• Both parties generally attend the free Mandatory Information Program, in separate sessions.
• Financial statements are Form 13 where only support is claimed and Form 13.1 where property or debts are claimed; both are commissioned.
• Motions for temporary orders use Form 14 (Notice of Motion) and Form 14A (Affidavit).

A court can make interim orders for child support and spousal support while the case is ongoing. It can also make interim orders about who stays in the matrimonial home. In deciding parenting orders under the Divorce Act, the court considers only the child's interests, with primary consideration to the child's safety, security and well-being.

Step five: the divorce itself

If you are married and want a divorce based on separation, you must have lived separate and apart for at least one year immediately before the divorce is determined, and you must have been separated when the proceeding began. You can apply while still living apart, but the one-year period must be complete before the divorce is granted, and in most cases the divorce takes effect 31 days after the judge grants it.

A divorce-only application is made on Form 8A, and the original marriage certificate is needed. Divorce does not replace the other issues; support, parenting and property are dealt with separately, and property claims have time limits.

What to do next

• Write down the date and circumstances of your separation.
• Gather financial documents: tax returns, notices of assessment, bank and pension statements, and debt records.
• Make a short list of what must be decided now, such as parenting time and bills, and what can wait.
• Check the time limits that apply to you, including the six-year and two-year limits for equalization claims.
• Speak to a family lawyer before signing anything or making major changes to the home.

Frequently asked questions