Family Mediation for Parenting Disputes in Ontario: How It Works

If you and the other parent disagree about schedules, decisions or holidays, going straight to court is not your only option. Many parents prefer to try mediation first because it lets the two of you shape the arrangement yourselves instead of having a judge do it.

This article explains how family mediation works in Ontario, how safety is screened, what you can end up with, and when it may not be the right fit. It is general information, not advice on your situation.

What family mediation is, and where you can find it

Mediation is a process where a neutral person helps you and the other parent talk through the issues and look for an agreement. The mediator records any agreement in writing but does not decide the outcome or give legal advice.

Ontario's family justice services include free on-site courthouse mediation on the day of court, and low-cost off-site mediation on a sliding fee scale. As an example of the sliding scale, a person with an income under $60,000 might pay $5 to $105 per hour. You can also hire a private mediator, and the cost and approach will vary.

Court-connected family mediators need 60 hours of family mediation training and 21 hours of intimate partner violence education or training.

How the process usually unfolds

Ontario's description of family mediation follows a set order of steps.

• Intake: the mediator meets with each person separately.
• Agreement to mediate: you sign a document setting out the type of mediation, the issues, how information is shared, the schedule and the fees.
• Financial disclosure: where it is relevant, you exchange financial information.
• Sessions: you work through the issues with the mediator.

Mediation is closed by default unless both parties agree it is open. Read the agreement to mediate carefully, since that is where information sharing and fees are set out.

Safety screening and when mediation may not suit you

Court-connected mediators screen for safety at intake and throughout the mediation. That matters because mediation may not be safe or effective where there has been family violence and ongoing safety concerns.

If that describes your situation, tell the mediator at intake. There are alternatives to sitting in the same room. Shuttle mediation, where the mediator speaks to each party separately, and phone or video mediation are options. Ontario family justice services also include Family Court Support Workers for victims of domestic violence.

Whether mediation is appropriate is a judgment call that depends on your facts. A lawyer can help you think it through before you commit.

Mediation and other ways to resolve a dispute

Mediation is one of several family dispute resolution options. The table below compares some of them.

Parenting coordination is not a licensed profession in Ontario, and a coordinator's decisions are only binding if the process meets Ontario's family arbitration requirements. Ask about this before you sign up to any process.

What you can end up with after mediation

A parenting plan can come out of any family dispute resolution process, and parents can ask the court to include their agreement in a court order called a consent order, which is simpler when both parties agree. Ontario describes a parenting plan as something that can set out when each parent spends time with the children and who makes major decisions.

Informal plans can be hard to enforce, while you can ask the court to enforce a parenting arrangement in a separation agreement. To make a mediated agreement legally binding, each person should get advice from a different lawyer before signing.

Even with an agreement, the court has the final say on the children's interests. If parties submit a parenting plan, the court must include it in the parenting order unless it is not in the child's best interests, in which case the court may modify it first.

What to do next

• Decide whether you feel safe and able to speak for yourself in mediation, and say so at intake if you have concerns.
• Write down the issues you want to resolve, such as schedule, holidays, travel and major decisions.
• Use Justice Canada's parenting plan checklist as a prompt: it covers communication, safety, the schedule, transportation, holidays, travel notice, school, health care, relocation, new partners and how to make changes.
• Gather income and financial information in case it needs to be exchanged.
• Book a lawyer to review any draft agreement before you sign it.

If cost is a concern, the Law Society Referral Service can connect you with a family lawyer for an initial consultation of up to 30 minutes, and limited-scope services and Legal Aid Ontario may also help.

Frequently asked questions