What If My Ex Falsely Accuses Me of Family Violence in BC?

Being accused of family violence can be frightening and unfair, especially if you believe the accusation is untrue or exaggerated. In separation disputes, the stakes include your contact with your children and your freedom to go home.

This article explains how British Columbia courts approach these allegations, what the process can look like for you, and how to respond in a way that protects your position.

This article covers the law of British Columbia.

What the law counts as family violence

The definition is wide. It includes physical abuse and attempts, sexual abuse, and psychological or emotional abuse such as intimidation, harassment, coercion, threats, stalking and intentional damage to property. Unreasonable restrictions on a family member's financial or personal autonomy are included as well.

It does not include reasonable force used to protect yourself or others from harm. If your actions were self-protective, that context may matter, and a lawyer can help you present it.

How a court tests the allegation

For a protection order, the court asks whether family violence is likely to occur and whether the other person is an at-risk family member. In deciding, it must consider, among other things, your history of violence, whether violence is repetitive or escalating, coercive or controlling behaviour, the state of the relationship including recent separation, risk factors such as substance abuse, weapons or mental health, the applicant's perception of risk, and the applicant's vulnerability.

The court may make an order even if there are no prior orders, even if criminal charges are possible, and even if the applicant has returned to live with you.

In parenting cases, the court assesses the seriousness and recency of the violence, how often it happened, whether it forms a pattern of coercive control, whether the child was exposed to it, the harm to the child, and steps taken to prevent further violence. Allegations are weighed against the child's best interests, with the child's safety and well-being as a required factor.

If an order was made without notice

An application for a protection order may be made without notice to you. That means an order can be made before you have had a chance to respond. If so, you can apply to the court to set aside the order or to change or terminate it.

Any application to extend, change or end an order must be made before it expires, which is one year after it is made unless the court provides otherwise. The Supreme Court Family Rules forms include F54.1, an order terminating a protection order.

What helps, and what to avoid

• Follow the order exactly. Disobeying a lawful court order without lawful excuse is a criminal offence, and the Supreme Court form warns that enforcement may include arrest without warrant.
• Do not contact the other person if the order forbids it, even to explain yourself. An order can restrain contact and communication and restrict attendance at specified places.
• A police officer who has reasonable and probable grounds to believe you have contravened a term of a protection order may act to enforce it, whether or not there is proof the order was served on you.
• Keep messages, emails, calendars, receipts and photos that show where you were and what was said. Neutral records often matter more than argument.
• Note people who witnessed events and could speak to them.
• Keep your communication with the other parent brief, polite and about the children.

If the order conflicts with a parenting order, the other order is suspended to the extent of the conflict until it is varied or the protection order ends.

What to do next

• Read any order or papers you receive carefully and note every date and condition.
• Comply with the order while you challenge it; do not take matters into your own hands.
• Gather your evidence in date order.
• Avoid social media posts about the dispute.
• Speak with a lawyer promptly about responding, applying to change or end an order, and how the allegation may affect your parenting case.

Frequently asked questions