Can My Ex Change Our Child's School Without My Consent in Ontario?

You find out that your child has been enrolled in a different school, and nobody asked you. It is upsetting, and it raises an urgent question: was your ex allowed to do that, and can you undo it?

The honest answer depends on what paperwork exists between you and whether you were married. This article explains the general rules in Ontario, what a court can do, and what to do first. It is general information, not legal advice for your situation.

Who decides about school: decision-making responsibility

Ontario describes decision-making responsibility as covering significant decisions about a child, such as health, education and religion. It can be held by one parent alone (sole) or by both parents together (joint). Choosing or changing a child's school is generally the kind of significant education decision this refers to.

Joint decision-making needs parents who can cooperate and communicate. If you share it, one parent enrolling the child elsewhere without involving the other is the kind of conduct you may need to raise with a court. If your ex holds sole decision-making for education, the position is different. What counts is the exact wording of the order or agreement, so read it closely.

The Divorce Act also says decision-making responsibility can go to one parent, to both, or to others, and a court can divide it up in part. That means one parent may have say over education while another area, such as health, is shared.

When there is no order or written agreement

Many separated parents have only an informal arrangement. Ontario explains that a parent may have de facto decision-making when the child lives with them full-time, the spouses live separate and apart, and the other spouse accepts that arrangement. Legal decision-making responsibility exists only through a signed separation agreement or a court order, and enforcing your rights is harder without something in writing.

Parents also have the right to parenting time unless a court decides otherwise. An informal parenting plan can be hard to enforce. If a school change happened in this gap, you are not necessarily without options, but you may need a court to set out who decides what.

Which law applies to you

Two statutes can apply. If no divorce proceeding has started, the Children's Law Reform Act applies and a parent would need a parenting order under it. If a divorce has started or a Divorce Act parenting order exists, the Divorce Act applies. The Divorce Act applies only to married or formerly married spouses, so unmarried parents generally use the Children's Law Reform Act.

What a court can do

If you and your ex cannot agree, either of you can apply for a parenting order. The judge must act in the child's best interests and consider family violence. Under the Divorce Act, only the child's best interests count, and the court gives primary consideration to the child's physical, emotional and psychological safety, security and well-being.

A court can make parenting orders covering parenting time and decision-making, including interim orders, and can set schedules and conditions. The court also applies the principle that a child should have as much time with each spouse as is consistent with the child's best interests. A change of school can affect that time, for example through distance and travel, so the schedule may be part of the discussion.

If your case is under the Divorce Act and you and your ex agree on a parenting plan, the court must include it in the order unless it is not in the child's best interests, in which case the court may modify it. Whether a court would order the child back to the earlier school depends on your situation, so it is worth confirming with a lawyer.

• Ask whether your order or agreement gives either parent sole or joint decision-making on education.
• Consider whether talking or mediation might settle it before a court date.
• Think about what is best for the child, since that is what the court focuses on.

What to do next

Act soon and keep things calm. Do not pull the child from the new school or keep them home as a way of reversing the change, because that can create new problems. Start with facts and paperwork.

• Find your separation agreement, parenting plan or court order and note what it says about education.
• Write down the dates: when you learned of the change, when the enrolment happened, and what your ex told you.
• Save relevant messages and emails. If you later file them in court, Superior Court practice directions limit affidavit exhibits to 10 pages of necessary and relevant evidence, so keep only the key excerpts.
• Ask the school and other providers for information about your child; unless a court orders otherwise, someone with parenting time or decision-making responsibility can ask for information about the child's well-being.
• Send a calm written message asking your ex to explain and to discuss the decision.
• Speak with a family lawyer about whether to apply for a parenting order.

If safety is a concern, such as family violence, tell your lawyer early. The Divorce Act definition includes physical, sexual, psychological and financial abuse and coercive and controlling behaviour, whether or not it is a crime.

Frequently asked questions