Child Support When an Adult Child Cuts Off Contact With a Parent

Your son or daughter is over 18, studying at college or university, and no longer speaks to you. You are still paying child support, and it feels unfair to fund a relationship that has ended. You may be asking whether the estrangement lets you stop.

The law does not treat contact and support as one package. This article explains how courts generally approach adult children, what estrangement may and may not change, and what steps protect you while you sort it out.

When an adult child can still receive support

Under the Divorce Act, a 'child of the marriage' can include an adult child who cannot withdraw from parental charge or obtain the necessaries of life because of illness, disability or other cause. Courts have read 'other cause' to include secondary and post-secondary studies, and support has often continued until a post-secondary degree was completed. Courts decide case by case whether older children qualify.

There is no single definition of 'charge'. The idea considers the child's financial dependency and the parents' control. How estrangement fits into that idea depends on the facts, so it is worth confirming with a lawyer.

How courts have treated estrangement

Whether estrangement ends support depends on the facts, and a lawyer can tell you how a court might see yours. Some useful guidance comes from decisions about stepparents and younger children. In one, post-separation estrangement between a paying stepparent and stepchildren was held not relevant to child support. In another, children were still entitled to support even though they disliked their stepfather. The Supreme Court of Canada has also held that a stepparent standing in the place of a parent cannot unilaterally end the obligation.

Those cases are not about adult students in Ontario, so they do not settle your situation.

Who has to prove what

A parent claiming support for an adult child must prove the child remains under parental charge. University enrolment can help meet that onus. If you are the payor asking the court to change an existing order, you must prove a material change.

Turning 18, or attending university, does not by itself prove a material change where the original order already contemplated support past 18 and university. A future motion should rest on a proper evidentiary foundation, not only on non-enrolment in full-time studies.

How much support is set for an adult child

For a child at or over the age of majority, the court first applies the table amount as if the child were a minor. It departs from that amount only if it finds that approach inappropriate. In that case it sets what it considers appropriate, having regard to the child's condition, means, needs and circumstances and each spouse's ability to contribute.

This means the child's own income, savings, scholarships and other resources may become part of the discussion, which can lead to a different amount rather than an end to support.

If you were never married, the Ontario child support rules under the Family Law Act may apply instead. The section numbers and wording can differ, so confirm this with a lawyer.

What to do next

Only a court can change the amount of support, and FRO cannot change what you pay. FRO tells payors to keep paying until it says in writing that they can stop. Support ends through a court order, a terminating event both parties agree on, or a written agreement between payor and recipient.

• Keep paying support as ordered while you get advice.
• Read your order or agreement to see whether it mentions university or an end date.
• Gather what you know about the child's enrolment, income, living costs and any scholarships.
• Save records of attempts to stay in contact, but avoid threats or pressure about money.
• If you need more information about the child's situation, ask a lawyer how to go about it rather than demanding it in anger.
• Speak with a family lawyer before stopping payments or filing a motion to change.

Frequently asked questions