Can both spouses choose their own arbitrator, or does one get appointed for them?

Family arbitration is a voluntary, consent-based process, so both spouses generally need to agree on who will act as the arbitrator; it isn't something imposed on the parties by a court or automatically assigned the way a judge might be. Couples commonly select someone jointly, often based on recommendations from their lawyers, the arbitrator's specific experience with the issues in dispute, or reputation in the family law community, and the choice is typically written into the arbitration agreement itself.

If the spouses genuinely cannot agree on who should act as arbitrator, arbitration as an option can stall, since neither party can be forced into using a specific person or into arbitration at all without agreement. Some well-drafted arbitration agreements anticipate this by building in a selection mechanism upfront, such as a pre-agreed list of acceptable arbitrators or a process for choosing one if the couple can't agree later. Because a poor fit with an arbitrator can affect how comfortable each spouse is with the whole process, getting legal advice on selecting the right person, and on how the selection process is documented, is worthwhile before committing.