What is a right of first refusal in a parenting order?

A right of first refusal is a clause in a parenting order or agreement that requires one parent to offer the other parent the opportunity to look after the child before arranging third-party childcare. For example, if the clause specifies a three-hour threshold, then whenever a parent needs childcare for more than three hours, they must offer the other parent that time before calling a babysitter.

The intent is to maximize each parent's time with the child and to reduce the use of third-party care when the other parent is available. Proponents argue it is child-centred; critics note it can create logistical friction and ongoing conflict.

Ontario courts have mixed views on right-of-first-refusal clauses. They are more likely to be included in agreements where parents are cooperative, live nearby, and can make the logistics work. Where parents are high-conflict or the threshold is very low, courts may decline to include such a clause because the ongoing communication it requires can cause more harm than good.

If you want a right-of-first-refusal clause, it is best negotiated into a separation agreement or parenting plan rather than litigated, so both parents buy into the logistics voluntarily.