What should I do if my child refuses to go to their other parent's home?
A child refusing to attend parenting time is one of the most difficult and emotionally charged situations in family law. The right response depends significantly on the reason for the refusal and the child's age.
First, try to understand why the child is refusing. Are they expressing a genuine, independently formed preference? Is there a safety concern that needs to be taken seriously? Has the refusal been encouraged — consciously or unconsciously — by the other parent? Is it simply a developmental phase or a child testing limits?
An existing parenting order remains in force even if the child is refusing. Consistently allowing a child to opt out of court-ordered parenting time can put the permitted parent in a difficult legal position, and courts may view it as parental alienation. At the same time, forcing a teenager into a car against their will is rarely productive or enforceable.
If the refusal persists, consider family therapy, a parenting coordinator, or involvement of the OCL. Courts can vary a parenting order if the child's views and circumstances have genuinely changed. The goal is to understand the underlying issue, not simply to enforce compliance mechanically.
Key takeaways
- A parenting order remains in force even if a child is refusing.
- Consistently allowing refusal can expose the permitting parent to alienation concerns.
- Investigate the reason for refusal — distinguish safety concerns from preference or coaching.
- Family therapy, parenting coordination, or OCL involvement can help resolve the impasse.